a broken china thumb on an old rag doll (from a dream this morning)01/03/2013

i don’t remember much
such is the nature of

but starting my brother Patrick and i
were watching my parents’ house and
it was in elizabeth city and
we had friends over only
the few or two at first
which grew into a dozen
and disrespect
at first my two had a
little weed to share
and then the rest showed up
bringing babies and badness
tire tracks in the grass
sand on couches and floors
and I turned riotous

GET OUT !!! I screamed
ALL OF YOU, THIS IS NOT SOME
FRAT HOUSE
THIS IS MY MOTHER’S HOUSE NOW
GET THE FUCK OUT!!!
they were like roaches by then
here, then there, leaving returning as if
none of them got the message
or they just kept ignoring
and doing
my first two turned mean on me and
then the rest as they began to
leave and Patrick and I surveyed the damage;
doesn’t look too bad, I mean
we can clean it up and maybe
they won’t notice, mom and dad
and Patrick agreed but pointed
out a broken china thumb on an
old rag doll; mother’s favorite
and then rage set back in
some still there I repeated
GET THE FUCK OUT!
and as they left reluctantly;
breaking and cursing me
all I remember wanting was for them
to be gone, but they stole my
brother’s car, than a chase
while we petitioned the owners of the junk house
where they had taken it
they got into my ford, took the door panel
off and glued all the inner guts to the window
micturated upon it, I heard one of them
the taller one say “let’s see that window roll now”

pissed off I entered the garage
there were many of them there but a
few elders as well, and to my surprise
they rejected the violence of this small mob
towards me, ran them off like with brooms
smiled at me like the ones who freed
me from Jamaican cops
but a chase was on, my brother and me
them and more of them
one, leaving handed me a syringe
“is it clean?”, I asked “three quarters”
He smiled and replied, I set it on the arm of the couch

we went block to block
brother and I until we found cops
and shared the story, pointed them
out as they chased, punched some in the head
and eventually, surprisingly inevitably, we won

i don’t remember how. But as he and i
back home and cleaning up, assessed the
nature of things, would they know I asked
-mom and dad I meant, and Patrick said
as I said “it looks pretty good to me”
you can’t tell…and “no” he said you
can’t
except for this broken china thumb on this
old rag doll.
I awoke mad, without feeling rested, confused;
and this is all I can remember of that.