i was at the grocery store
i go there quite often
they have basic things
and others that i want
i go there quite a lot
it seems that
around holidays
and special times
they ask for money
for the poor
sick and naturally
disastered
they ask but also have
baskets
and bags and boxes
piled up with stuff
to give away
middle grounders
usually during these times
i find myself lined up
with others who go
there a lot
some dressed well
some speak spanish
some with kids
some bare feet
some on skateboards
or just from offices
some so frail
and some so proud
all
together
if separate
but quite often
more often than not
coexistence as probabilities
like numbers on dice
or on ping pong balls
or stones in a lottery
i taste two trips in there
to recall a flavor
which laid itself over my owned thought
those two times
as common practice
the cashiers boss will
have them ask me
or you if you would
like to round your
purchase up from
six and fifteen
or so to seven
dollars and i generally
not even thinking
respond as yes
i would like to
or more like
no i don’t mind
the play works
and i bite the
what is eighty five cents or so
what would i have
done with that
and then
this one day
i am behind a
slightly greater man than me
and when the cashier asks
on behalf of her boss
and whomever holds
the sway to put us all there
the slightly larger human tones
begins the tale of what he has done
of where and how and how much and
of his general distaste for
being hit up like this
as if by common beggars
moved to action by deception
depression addiction apathy and self
inflicted lack of position
i listen to a good few
yes sirs
from the cashier
and as my total is wrung
and
as my electronic transaction approaches
i detect the air of the meek
and the flogged confidence
still in recoil from reproach
as i smile
ignorant in stance and intent
and ask
how is your day
looking up from behind the blue smoke of
her last guest she feigns the smile and says
fine
and how are you today
the second time was with
my wife and daughter
it was cold with rain
and the stressful tight and
heavy shouldered time as
rent
and the rest of the bills
were on her
and were on me
like a good budgeteer
she would also decline to add
the weight less than keys
from our pocket to elsewhere
when asked by the man forced
to ask us
and we left
i said
i don’t care how broke i am
i always go for the round up
or buy the shamrock or the
heart
or whatever
when they give me a pen
i write our daughters name
on it
figure its like karma
or strange credit
even if i barely have the
same to carry
and what is that dollar
or less
what more is that to the needing
against some precocious bullshit story
of giving enough already
really
giving enough
and already
as the hurricanes have stopped
and the earthquakes are no more
and they only shoot your neighbor
and they only rape his son
and the winter says its colder
and with taxes i don’t have to
and the vaccines killed diseases
now they just need kill the autism
and if i had seven dollars
and i needed seven hundred
even faster than tomorrow
i can give you one of my seven
because whats more than owing seven hundred and
one
against the dwindling probability of the next bowl of flour
or how can i worry that i will be secure if my
rent falls late but it wont it never does be
cause
we find it
we do it just like the afflicted
find their water
the trampled find their spirit
and the buried find that just enough voice
work when there is work
hustle when there is not
scrape when hustle fails
borrow when our brothers have and
beg
when not our families
our governments
nor our churches
can
provide
and i have seen the sands
get swept back up the beach
and down again
no matter what the season is
eventuality brings our storm
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