two hurricanes

so this is how we live as
neighbors on the sandbar
scurrying about broomed and shoveling
our mess
back into the places where
we
feel it should go
and keep it there in safe maintainance
until the next time the
weather decides that it should be
spread around like this
our mess,
our shit on display for all
to see...all those private bathroom
moments in thought, once lost and now

in the middle part is a darkness
-a backing into something
a nightmare, a key
a crying child and something said
to me long ago but as i said
just a darkness now on the x-ray
a mass, a backing into a new old hell
the images on this skull jump like pages
turning from zombie to Ernest.

maybe the medication makes me feel like
the rest of the population;
and if this is fact then i want to
feel like i used to
when i was afraid of nothing
i am yet afraid of nothing

hurricane two times

sobers

i understand sobriety
but the drink
-the smoke

they keep me up
in ter es ted

the drink makes the night
come alive, mo
re vibrant

the smoke just makes
the assholes at the spot
bearable

faith

i truly believe
that my faith
requires me
challenges me to
take on that dark side.

nothing is forever

and there is an ugly
but orchestrated beauty
in that

in there/here

therapist

everyone gets the
yes answer
yes, fine
it is fine

golf was
work is
medicine too
it's all

perfect

the only one that gets
the whole truth is
the rapist
so

if you want to
stare down this
tunnel
seeking light
go on-
shoot yourself in my head

cold

insanity may

be mis
understood

brilliance

best i can do

often reminded lately,
too frequently for casual
comforts, how savage
the frailty of the veil.

for Kate

amycat



base ball bat



one silent no,whispered

fuck you



i write this because

beclaws i was getting ready to

give my cat Shiitten some

food



i dunno why it

reminds me but it does



-maybe the cat having little cats

in our closet in that place

that time Katie.



maybe just the

regular



thing to do



remember



after all the years of

circus and un knowing

but tandem



yeah fucked

another short poem here



for you Kate



whilst i sit alone in my house

miss my wife

miss my baby girls

and miss



i miss it all sometimes

and it causes hurt

misunderstandingand

pains and from all of you



i don't evenknow why i'd write this

but

i do know that once you

have read it

then two will have



mistakes and all



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