open

and when they i
itch
i rub my eyes
until colors swirl
like lightning nymphs
to hills of gray
all in a
line
dancing slightly
falling off the
edge of the
viewing screen
like lava lamp
thick drops of
eel ec tricity
melting down slower
now
as if to almost form
a wide face
in bronzed
chain mesh
but
more like a
mountain face
azure colored
clay mudslide

thigh highs and satin socks

close your eyes...
-wanna take a ride ?
nothing but blue skies burning
-blazing hot blue flame
burning as gas ignites
meeting unknown on the edge of
this domain-

and are there other lives?
other forms with eyes
that taste and feel as we
sometimes stupidly do?

"i'll believe it when i see..."
is what the wandering monk said to me,
"sure, it just may be, but i have not
seen it, i will wait until i see"

wait !
what was that? -this
bead of sweat and now i'm hot
and my brow turns and
downward feathering and spiraling
sing my lovely children!, sing!
as another bill the taxman brings

-and hey you! red hair and
asian lips,
sing that song for me...
put on thigh highs and
satin socks and bring it
home to me.

light my candles, in a daze
'cause i found black.
it's god to me,
how else is the light expected to see
if not reflected off of me?
lower self, inner child, or
gatekeeper may be
that which may just kill for life
or fuck as the blind, inherently
-wishing to reproduce the self
in hopes that future life may see.

don't judge the last few lines
my friends,
think of all the waste that lay
between your birth and yesterday
and ask again way down inside,
do you see all that differently?

my flower lays now at your feet,
now...what is it you think of me?

red night (excerpt from "Nor'easter")

the red green and
blue lights played
and danced a
frantic jerk on the
fake fog
as we played songs
songs like emeline
songs about irish whiskey
and weed
songs by other people
who will never know we played them
as the tourists
whooped and hollered below
the on stage serenade

there was an
anesthesiologist from
richmond
horse breeders from
missouri
the drunken dough boys of
swan beach
and one raucous table full of
bears and beards from the
hills of pennsyltucky
apple-tinis and
red headed sluts

as the boys and i
stuffed a victory
and our guitars
back in the van
them
pondering rest and
reefers
mine
eyes bore in focus
mind thirty three miles
away as i
pulled the keys to the ford
from my beaten
black leather
zipper scraped hand asking
can i feel it now
can i just go home
argument between my
senses and conscience
as my body throws my
hand to turn the key

plug in the portable
music player
cheap trick
hello there
whalehead club bound

fifty minutes later i
pick from the thickets
a tandem kayak
fit for one
two gallons of gasoline
and the winston
repeater
camels and a lighter

the mind and body
of the thief
must be subject to torment
i care nothing of the soul
that is for another
judge
i choose to shower the former
in heavy drops of
fast lead and fire

you must bear in mind now
and with importance
that in that sand box
where i work
and friends do
and my family has
lived
they ride by us daily
and scowl
my guests aghast as
small minds in big trucks
worry by
they lay spike strips
on my path
no shit
two by twelve inch
salt treated
shot or filled
otherwise with
thick
new
hand driven framing
nails
they
dig holes in my road
throw molasses soaked
feed corn down
on my land to bait the wild hogs
so that they may come out
and shoot them by night
by day they conspire
watch my movements
learning my schedule
wishing they knew which
bait
might lure me
so
do not judge
as i turn up the volume
lose the perspective
join small picture
politic
and turn neighbor
into crime scene
transform
shining yellow swamp boat
to
the best cliff hanger
the north beach sun
has ever endeavored to
question

this red night
i burn the text i
would have written
and finish the chapter
begun when the
citizen became thief
mine became his
and watched became
aware

i take all the
responsibility
a shovel would take
for digging a ditch
but
you might blame the
morning haze over
carova
on me

fireworks are
still illegal but
i see them
every night
as fresh souls arrive
not yet stained
by the jaundice of
coastal plain
winter
i
watch as some kid
shoots his mortars
announces the arrival
of two wide eyes
as
the color and sparks
fade back
leaving the x ray
clouds against black
heavens
i toss the end of a camel
and start the real show
thinking of my daughter
and a movie i saw
in 1979

and watch

and wait

j.s.

i
have met many
women or men
who have offered
anything
in exchange for money
for happiness
for need

but i have in
my life met
only one
whore

and this person
posessed neither
want nor need

that
only
one

how truly
fortunate
my life
is been.

one faint scream or hush in vain

i rub my eyes
release some sand
replace the glass

the colors whoosh
without my hands
to help me now

fingers fumble
words write wrong and
someone

back and forth like
rollercoaster
wooden, splintered on the
side where love is
jammed

jagged in the
corners
cold when the
night
falls

i write want
so fevered and hard
try not forget

one wrinkled eye
line one faint scream
or hush in vain

twenty five years
the hand has scribbled
since half awake
beneath that pillowed head
fourteen
and writing the text
before me in my dream’s sky
cartoon scroll I followed

wish now to not
a frame leave out
misplace a drop

not one sample
not one dragon
not one fenced cop

tired is my highway (02/01/00)

i was sleeping outside myself again
and I saw my favorite sweater
and I grabbed my favorite jeans
and I could see it all
full color
from the viewer in my dreams

i’m tired I told me, and go home I said
-for me it’s always been more than
easy to fit whatever seams,
mend what is torn after blood is cleaned

i slept into the blue again
i slept into the sand
i cut myself on old, smooth green
and cobalt rolled sea glass
i left the vacation. stop.
i twisted one more knot in my rope
and they cut off the other last one
and they paid me after I already left
and they claimed it was on Tuesday
and I asked…stopped myself and
i said to me that how is it
you let him do it- why won’t you
just let it be…why don’t you
just drive away hard –set up a
hot dog stand, sell single malt scotch
at eleven a.m. to all your builder friends?
and laughing back, hell yeah I said and
turned to me again…you don’t see
the me I see – you don’t know the one who is me
i’m true the one who throws away
and I’m the one who smokes all day and
i hold on for your pussy ass when
you think it’s good to hold on-
and I’m the one who holds me up
when you push my tired legs around
and make responsible promises to those you love
whenever you’re turned on, or your eyes get turned around

i’m the one- the one that you asked for
when the way became too hard
and this bitch of a world took off her face
and bit into your back –
took away your student i.d. card
i’m the one; laughing again and saying
i’m the one in me that’s me
and you’re the me in me for them
and you go to work when I tell you
not to, and then I get it done
you’re the one with the bank account
that i always fuck up
and I’m the one who won’t let you run

and hell yeah, hotdogs and single malt scotch
but first things first my son
and it’s pay off the ones that you promised
the moon –and blast off for the sun
we’ll drink more of milky life
when the seasons all are one
i am you for me, it’s true but
tired is my highway
blood on pavement has made
me cautious…but
only for a little while.

I woke up from sleeping outside
and I saw me in a smile,
a cat’s eye…
a fence.

like a tick

blade
and hot flash
rain and then sun
and then
is not real
it is
not
pain
pain is not the
it was more from
it can best be
explained like that

blade
then hot flash
bullet and nature
fast fish from water
to pharma flush
pull the plug
ready

lock my closet and
my brain inside
leave the water for
the sand
check my daughters
love my daughters

first a son
then a brother
then a husband
after father
and
many other suits have been
worn and exhausted
by and by
by and by and by
and by

only four have mattered to
anyone but me
and
pain is deception
love and
double dealing
it is trying to be
them
and realizing after
one thousand lives
that them is but
illusion
them does not care

only those
four have cared
as i dig
like a tick into
the folds of isolation
and suck all that
there is until
blade and
heat added un
natural explosion

stolen
selfish
depraved
false
peace.